This morning someone passed along a link to an article about Nazi descendants. I found it very moving and it really got me thinking about forgiveness.
To forgive is an incredibly healing act. It is my hope to have compassion for the people in my life who may inadvertently hurt my feelings or even cause deeper pain. I strive for it, but sometimes fail. For example, the other day I was so peeved by the late arrival of something I ordered that I withheld the tip for the delivery person.
Why did I do that? I suppose I wanted to send a message that I was unhappy with their poor customer service. I felt let down, forgotten. However, it didn’t make me happier to not tip the delivery guy (he works for a chain that offers free delivery—it’s even a “no tipping allowed” kind of deal). It made me feel small. It was a “lose-lose” kind of situation that I don’t want to repeat.
I feel not having a generous spirit or a forgiving nature closes me off from accepting gifts from the universe. I should have forgiven the business that sent my order an hour late and gladly given the tip to the guy. It wasn’t his fault. But, I thought as I stewed about it later, his boss could’ve at least called to let me know of any hang-ups.
Stewing about things never helps. I got it out of my system and hope to have more clarity about why I react the way I do. I just hope to be less reactive. Staying present and enjoying the moment may be my best defense.